Archive for the ‘Jokes About Builders, Real Estate Agents and Engineers’ Category


A priest, a doctor and an engineer are playing golf. They wind up behind the slowest foursome ever and can’t play through. Frustrated, they send their caddy to see what the holdup is. The caddy returns and lets them know its part of a charity event where they let 2 firefighters who were blinded while saving a couple of kids play a round. The doctors says, “I know experts in this field. I can contact them and donate my time and maybe we can get their sight back”. The priest says, “I will say a special mass for them and take a second collection to help pay for the medical services”. The engineer says, “Why don’t they just have them play at night?” – Submitted by Chris B.

The Bicycle

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said: “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied: “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Engineer in Hell

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.”

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”